May 21, 2020 1 Comment
On may 9th 1996 we lost my baby brother to a malignant brain tumour, he was just 6 years old, He died at home surrounded by loved ones in my fathers arms... his name was Anthony Connor and to most who knew him he was known as the little fella or mighty mouse.
The years have been so so tough since losing Anthony, for anyone who Is touched by the big C (cancer) it is a destroyer of life as we knew it. I can't tell you how much I miss Anthony, I remember the small things, watching a few home videos always is so so heartbreaking, he suffered so so much but I can't tell you about how strong and determined my brother was during his treatment,
At 6 years old he outshone all the superheroes - so small and frail but with a heart and mind stronger then most!! Life was never going to be the same but time is the brick by brick healer, but that hole in my heart has never healed. My family fell apart shortly after however we got through it somehow together.
On May 9th 2016 life took a turn for the worst, it was my brothers anniversary, 20 years that marked the day of his passing. You see it was just me and my mum who lived together at that time and I wanted to keep the day as calm without a mother and daughter battle.
I sat down with mum that morning and after making us a cuppa, we discussed the plan for the day, I know my mum liked to spend time alone with Anthony, so I suggested we go in separate cars, this suggestion has always been a big regret of mine since that day however I am unsure what would of happened or taken place if we had been in one car.
We got to Anthony’s grave early afternoon, it was such a beautiful day and I remember us just sitting on his bench. We didn’t say much, deep in thought as most would say, it was nice to just take a moment together, be together and be with him.
I left the crem around 5 and made my way home, I was making me and my mum dinner so when she got in from the crem she didn’t have to do much... At around 8pm I heard my mums phone ringing and buzzing away on the side, it was my older brother. He informed me that mum had been admitted to A&E - they would not inform either of us as to what had happened but once I got there I was taken to her bed side to be informed that my mum was beaten and knocked unconscious and awoke to a man raping her, he threatened to kill her if she screamed, once that horrific experience was over, he raped her a second time.
I have recently done a talk via YouTube about the attack, rape and courage of my mother that shone throughout! The audio link tells the story from start, middle to now - it outlines the traumatic experience for all involved and how we all stuck together.... The attacker was caught within 4 days and plead guilty due to the overwhelming evidence.
He had 22 previous counts against him and 12 previous convictions, some of those convictions related to him beating not raping but beating women, most were his former partners, one lady was his partner was pregnant at the time of the assault.
Judge Reddihough jailed him for life and told the defendant he would have to serve at least 14 years and eight months before he could be considered for parole.
So as the sentencing came to a close, I remember the police being so chuffed with his sentence... I was happy he wasn’t on the streets anymore, however for me I was fast forwarding time and seeing all those years later when he was out in the world again and imagine how my mum would cope with that.
This was four years ago and I can't tell you how hard our yellow brick road has been! Life is never easy it has its dips and turns but thanks to our friends, family and the courage we have got there.
I know many might not agree with me here, but we live in a world today where this type of shocking crime has become apart of the normality of life!!! Why can’t we live in a world where there is no violence, cruelty, sadness or greed? I will never know or understand.
BUT HOPE ALWAYS PREVAILS!!!!
My mum has now moved down the coast from Berkshire, she is taking her small steps daily but is getting used to the new surroundings.
My mum is an inspiration and to all who are going through a tough time, please know even though it may seem like the light isn't at the end of the tunnel know its there!!!
Be an ear or shoulder for someone if they need one, never make someone feel guilty for off loading or turning to you for help as you might need the same curtesy one day too.
If you are going through similar, need advice or just need a chat I have set up an email address which is as follows: firstname.lastname@example.org
My Instagram platform is @connorsam87
I am a small petite 5ft2 lady who has this giant inside of her that wants to change the world for the better! I wish I could stop or change things with a flip of a switch but as I can’t I’ll start with with this small step however it would be amazing if we all could small step together so let’s do it as a team!
As dark as times have been we are even more positive that using all the platforms we can we really can make a difference - In my mums name if you would like to donate to SupportLine they are an amazing charity that really do work wonders in helping others.
SupportLine is an amazing charity that offer confidential emotional support to children, young adults and adults by telephone, email and post. They work to develop healthy, positive coping strategies, an inner feeling of strength and increased self esteem to encourage healing, recovery and moving forward with life. https://www.supportline.org.uk
I have set up a justgiving page to raise money for Support Line.
Support Line - We offer confidential emotional support to children, young adults and adults by telephone, email and post. We work with callers to develop healthy, positive coping strategies, an inner feeling of strength and increased self esteem to encourage healing, recovery and moving forward with life.
We also keep details of counsellors, agencies and support groups throughout the UK.
Patron: Glen Murphy MBE
Chairman: Peter Barrell BEM
If you would like to listen to the story via audio please press on the attached link -
This is my story, my mums story, Janes Story
Many thanks to Kate McIver for allowing me to use their platform in the hope of helping others, I am so grateful for their kindness.
Forever inspired by Kate McIver and her passion for life! I hope this to can inspire you ♥️
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September 30, 2021